Brief Reading Note

I finally got through Dante (I read Inferno at a loping pace, dragged through Purgatorio, and made a mad, mad dash through Paradiso—which I will regret, I'm sure) and I'm likely to finish up the British sci-fi novel Point today. I've got stacks of books in ten different subjects waiting for me, but I'm not sure which one to read next. To be honest, I really need a day or three to catch up on my magazine reading.

I have waiting for me two issues of Inside Lacrosse, two issues of The New York Review of Books, the winter 2011 issue of Winq, an issue of Monocle, and an issue of Inked. (I won't even mention the surfing magazines commemorating Andy Irons and celebrating Kelly Slater). It will take awhile to get through all the interesting and relevant articles piled up in these magazines on my coffee table.

The World...

...is still turning.

Relationship FAIL

You know, I really hate the fact that my last long-term relationship was with a narcissist. It sort of highlights in neon-bright colors the my abysmal record of failure in relationships. I'm lead to ask: is there really something wrong with me that I get into bad and/or doomed relationships? Am I simply incapable of finding/co-creating a lasting, stable, good relationship? Am I attracted to the wrong kind of men? Am I the wrong kind of man?

I suppose I need to find my purpose and meaning in something other than relationships, but I have to admit that even the most fascinating intellectual pursuits do not carry the emotional oomph that relationships do. Is there anything in life I can be as passionate about as love?

Moleskine Tip

If you use Moleskine® notebooks, and you add some artwork to the cover, I suggest not spraying fixative over the artwork. It turns into a tacky mess. You could use it to remove cat hair from your clothes, LOL.

How to Reject, How to Take Rejection

How to Reject:

If someone shows his interest in you, and you do not feel the same, the best thing to do is simply to let the person know that you are flattered, but not interested. Expect him to be mature, and go on. If he isn't mature, that's his problem. Drama is always counterproductive. Always.

How to Take Rejection:

If someone you are interested in rejects you, move on. Yes, it hurts, but life is full of pain, and surviving is all about learning to accept the pain and moving on. I won't say something trite like, "There are plenty of fish in the sea." That actually may not be true. But there is more to life than sex, love and romantic relationships. And I suggest pursuing those other things.

Get Stronger

Survive. Get stronger. Care. (That last one is the hardest, maybe.)

Instead of Another Bad Romance, I Need a Rad Bromance

Having survived the warfare of love, and convalesced in the hospice of taking care of myself, I believe I have arrived at some new insights. Not only have I been looking for love in all the wrong places; I would have done better not to look for love at all, at least not in the traditional sense. I don't need a romance—I need a bromance.


I need someone to go shopping with, to help me figure out which home improvements to make, to hang out at the bar with, and most of all to go to soccer and lacrosse matches with (heck, I'd even go to see hockey and basketball games, as a trade off). A pal, a bud, a dude to chill with. He could be gay, bi or straight—it wouldn't matter because sex would not be a factor.* As long as he is a decent, stand-up guy, and we can get along, I think it would be fun.


And fun is the key. True, I want friends in my life to help me carry the burdens of living—the horrors of the daily grind, the heartaches of loss, etc. But I strongly suspect that the persons best suited to help carry the burdens are also the ones who most adeptly help one lighten the loads by lightening up. Relationships should be fun.


So I'm going forward looking for good friends, people worthy of investing time away from myself alone. I know they are out there. I just haven't had my eyes sighted correctly.

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*Years of singleness and a handful of atrocious hook-ups have taught me to be sexually self-contained.