I think a person's mind is a constant conversation. If there are unitary, unquestioning consciousnesses out there, I strongly suspect they are psychopathic. I have a host of difficulties, but I am not psychopathic.
An inner conversation consists of interrogating who one sees oneself as being. I.e., am I gay, am I a Christian, am I white, etc. What do these identities mean? How do I recognize the fluid and changeable, as opposed to the essential and immutable?
I realize I am agnostic. This was as much a discovery as a choice. I realized I couldn't push myself into trying to have faith any longer. I just do not know. I always, I suspect, will not know.
So why do I wear a Guadalupe medallion? It's simple. In it I see a recognition of my mestizaje.